I Asked The Lord

I've been listening to the version of John Newton's hymn 'I Asked The Lord', by Emily Deloach on an Indelible Grace album I bought. Indelible Grace (http://www.igracemusic.com/, it doesn't mean you can't eat it, which is what I thought at first!) is a great project in the states, which puts old hymns to new music. I seriously recommend checking it out. Anyway, here are the words (read it slowly and carefully, you will be surprised..):


I asked the Lord that I might grow
In faith, and love, and every grace;

Might more of His salvation know,
And seek, more earnestly, His face.

’Twas He who taught me thus to pray,
And He, I trust, has answered prayer!
But it has been in such a way,
As almost drove me to despair.

I hoped that in some favored hour,
At once He’d answer my request;
And by His love’s constraining pow’r,
Subdue my sins, and give me rest.

Instead of this, He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart;
And let the angry pow’rs of hell
Assault my soul in every part.

Yea more, with His own hand He seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe;
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Blasted my gourds, and laid me low.


Lord, why is this, I trembling cried,
Wilt thou pursue thy worm to death?
“’Tis in this way, the Lord replied,
I answer prayer for grace and faith.

These inward trials I employ,
From self, and pride, to set thee free;
And break thy schemes of earthly joy,
That thou may’st find thy all in Me.”

This really hit home for me, in the way that God answered Newton's prayer for 'faith and grace', and to 'more of his salvation know'. God did it, not in a nice, sanitized, comfortable way, like we would like, in Newton's 'favored hour', but he did it by revealing to Newton the depths of his sin. He brought Newton low, and it freed him from 'self, and pride...That thou may'st find thy (joy) all in me'. 

Now this must have hurt Newton. A lot. It hurt me a lot. I never realised that my prayers for increased godliness, trust and dependence on Christ, and shedding of all the false gods in my heart would lead me through such dark paths, pain, anguish, and almost despair, from which you can't escape. But wonderfully, God is good and it results in a repentant and contrite heart, an increased knowledge of my own sin, and my need for the Cross, and a joy in nothing else, except in being justified before him by Jesus' works, and not my own.

So if God is putting you through a time like this, take heart! Romans 8:28 is true! (look it up for your homework :-)). God works for our good, no matter how painful it is, and what more good could there be than us loving and looking to him who can satisfy us more than any earthly pleasure, want or desire?

Classic Noel

Say what you like about Oasis, they can't half bang out a tune with two guitars, and one drum, which is better than the output of the entire careers of most other bands (how's that for stoking a debate :)). This version of 'Don't Look Back in Anger' was done in paris, without Liam, but Noel suits the live acoustic versions a lot better. It was sad to see them split :(. Guitar geeks will notice that Noel capos this on the 4th, and then basically plays the chords of "Whatever". Easy. Genius.

The God who works...for us who...wait

I've been spending a lot of time in Isaiah 64, and was struck by verse 4:

Since ancient times no one has heard, 

no ear has perceived, 

no eye has seen any God besides you, 

who acts on behalf of those who wait for him.

It's a great reminder of God's sovereignty. Firstly, it tells us that God is a God who wills to work for us. Obviously he's not our pet genie, waiting on our beck and call to supply us with our petit wants and needs. He works for his Glory, to fulfil his purposes, for his great redemptive plan in human history. But he works it "on behalf of those who wait on him". That is, for us! And he is a god who gives us good gifts, as a loving father.


So what's our response to the God who works for us? It tells us to wait for him. Psalm 40:1 tells us:

I waited patiently for the LORD; 

he turned to me and heard my cry.

David here is telling how he waited, how he endured, totally dependent on the Lord, to deliver him out of "the slimy pit...out of the mud and mire". So David too was waiting patiently on God to save him, to restore his joy and hope in God. 


So we need to do the same! One of the fruits of the spirit is patience (Gal 5:22), the trust, and obedience to wait on God,  for all things that we pray for which are inline with his will. It's his timing, not ours. Once we can do this, then we will be living lives which show that we are truly living as if God is sovereign, rather than us. 


But how are we to wait? Sitting on our hands, in our rooms, looking up expectantly? No, that's not only lazy, but also not how God has ordered his world. Rather we wait, like the first two servants in Matthew 25 (14-28). We wait, expecting our masters' return, and working for his glory and gain, serving him before he returns. 


So let's be patient, and wait with endurance and perseverance on God, serving him with joy, and working for His glory in the meantime, in our obedience to him, in our endeavours for the gospel!

Evangelism and Secularism in the UK

Today I was doing some street evangelism in Tooting, London. The population here is extremely diverse, with a large percentage of the population from South Asia (India, Pakistan, Saudi Arabia), and also lots of people from the middle east and eastern Europe.


Anyway, it was just amazing how much interest there was in a couple of tables with some cheesy looking tracts and books about Jesus. True, we were giving away free tea, coffee and samosas on an icy cold day. But we had some great conversations with people, and loads of them took away literature. I'll be praying that God uses this ministry of South Asia Concern to make his name and glory known to these people! (http://www.southasianconcern.org/)


Anyway, I was thinking on the way home, why is there so much interest amongst this demographic in the UK about Jesus, and next to no interest (often opposition) amongst the middle class white population. Certainly no-one in my office has shown great interest in my faith in Christ, and often are apathetic and decline invitations to lunchtime evangelistic talks. One (untested and unverified) theory is that they live in a secular country, and in secular cultures and families. Talking about religion (or politics) is not the 'done thing'  at dinner parties. Religion is a social no-no.


However, south asians, and people from the middle east may live in a secular country here, but their families and micro-cultures are certainly not secular. Religion is part of the fabric of their lives, so they will naturally discuss it. Going to the temple or mosque is part of their heritage, so they will openly want to, and feel free to talk about God, religion, and even Jesus!


Which then led me to ask myself, 'well how do I reach my english friends?'. Obviously prayer, perseverence and boldness in talking to them. However it does seem like a harder mission field to me. Talking to random indians, pakistanis, arabs and turkish people about Jesus seemed less frightening to me then talking to my mates in the pub, or at football, or at work.

More Joy, prayer, and God's word

I just wanted to put up a post to say how amazing these three things are! Firstly, from spending time in Isaiah 12, I was struck by verses 2-3:

Surely God is my salvation; 

       I will trust and not be afraid. 

       The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song; 

       he has become my salvation."

 ³ With joy you will draw water 

       from the wells of salvation.

Verse three is echoed by Jesus in John 4, with the Samarian woman at the well. But note how God tells Isaiah that he will draw water from the wells of salvation "with joy". Just knowing that through christ, we have been reconciled with the living god, who turns from his anger to love and comfort us, is just an amazing free gift. And it should fill us with joy! (you can probably tell i'm stuck into "Desiring God" at the moment!). I've been asking God to fill me with the joy of knowing him, and that He would be my treasure above all, and it's working! It's just a heart bursting thing to know that. If you haven't prayed that yet, I seriously recommend that you do! 

I guess that was an aside (although an uplifting one). I really wanted to say what a benefit spending a long time reading the bible, mulling over and chewing on God's word, and then praying (again, for not a short while) is. Although we may find it hard to do in our busy lives, the benefits of growing closer to him, leaning on him in childlike trust and delighting in a living relationship with a loving father are just priceless. I've been finding that over the last two weeks. This also ties closely to what I've been saying about idols really. When we realize what a privilege it is to know God personally, and have him speak to us in his word, and being able to cast our anxieties, and pour our hearts out in praise, repentance and need to him, all the worldly things we desire just seem to pale into insignificance, given all the spiritual blessings we have in the heavenly realms, and the future hope of glory set before us. This should (must) also spur us on to tell our friends and colleagues about this wonderful free gift of grace, this salvation they can have! How much better, and more permanent it is then the counterfeit gods this world offers!

So go for it!

Sweet Disposition

I just learnt to play this song by The Temper Trap. I've posted the video for it below, I think it's an awesome song. Pure euphoria!

Idolatry, and joy in God

I was listening to a talk by Tim Keller on "Removing Idols of the Heart" this week, and was devastatingly peirced by his definition of our idols. He roughly said "What thing, or person, that if you didn't have it, or lost it would cause you to think that life isn't worth living, and makes you want to kill yourself?. That's your idol". 


This cut me to the core, how true it is! We may say with our lips that we only treasure Jesus, but in our materialistic, western culture, I'm not sure how many of us actually worship Jesus in 'spirit and in truth' all of our lives! Remember in my post on "Desiring God", I said that John Piper said that this is idolatry, to say to God that something satisfies you more than him. 


Well, with this damning verdict on my (and probably your) life, how to break this spell? Well, Keller said that the only way to get rid of an idol is "with the expulsive power of a new idol". However we can't just replace the idol of say, power, with the idol of sex, or money. They too will disappoint us. No, we need the expulsive power of Jesus Christ in our hearts. To seek, and treasure him, and to know his love. I'm finding this true as I read more and more of the word of god, and ponder and meditate over it this week, it's starting to work! I'm delighting in that, and find that when I leave it to get on with the tasks of the day my heart still longs for it more! Praise God for that. However it's not easy, so we need God's help (ask him in prayer). Stay tuned for more on this, as I've recently got a copy of "Counterfeit Gods" by Keller! 

Psalm 42

There are times in the Christian life, when we ask if God has forsaken us, if he has forgotten us. We don't know what the future holds. We only see bleakness, loneliness, despair ahead. I think psalm 42 describes this perfectly. In it the writer seems lost, surrounded by enemies, in tears and under attack. He sees the prosperity of others and wonders through sorrow how God can let him be in his current state. However, in it he longs, not for prosperity, or for victory, but he longs for God, and the hope that one day he will be able to praise him again as his Saviour. 


If you are going through a time like this, not only does bible know how you feel, but so does God. We have rejected him and turned away from him. We who were the apple of his eye, the pinnacle of his creation. Think of his sorrow at our rejection of him. Then think of his great love in sending his treasured son to suffer the wrath that we deserve. Praise him for that, and then sing with psalm 42 in knowing that we can:

"Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my savior and my God (Ps 42:5-6)"

Let us continue to strive to make God the apple of our eye, our hope, our desire, our joy. The things of this world will never satisfy us. Let us wake up to see a bigger picture, of service for a loving, kind, saving, gracious, merciful God, who will grant us our hearts desire, in an eternal relationship with him forever.

Psalm 42

    As the deer pants for streams of water,
       so my soul pants for you, O God. ² My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
       When can I go and meet with God?
 ³ My tears have been my food
       day and night,
       while men say to me all day long,
       "Where is your God?"
 ⁴ These things I remember
       as I pour out my soul:
       how I used to go with the multitude,
       leading the procession to the house of God,
       with shouts of joy and thanksgiving
       among the festive throng.
 ⁵ Why are you downcast, O my soul?
       Why so disturbed within me?
       Put your hope in God,
       for I will yet praise him,
       my Savior and ⁶ my God.
       My soul is downcast within me;
       therefore I will remember you
       from the land of the Jordan,
       the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.
 ⁷ Deep calls to deep
       in the roar of your waterfalls;
       all your waves and breakers
       have swept over me.
 ⁸ By day the LORD directs his love,
       at night his song is with me—
       a prayer to the God of my life.
 ⁹ I say to God my Rock,
       "Why have you forgotten me?
       Why must I go about mourning,
       oppressed by the enemy?"
 ¹⁰ My bones suffer mortal agony
       as my foes taunt me,
       saying to me all day long,
       "Where is your God?"
 ¹¹ Why are you downcast, O my soul?
       Why so disturbed within me?

       Put your hope in God,
       for I will yet praise him,
       my Savior and my God.

Desiring God

I've recently started to read "Desiring God", by John Piper. In it, Piper's punchline is:

"The chief end of man is to glorify God by enjoying him forever"

I've been struck by so many things so far, and it's been really eye opening, and refreshing to read this book. In particular, this popped out from the page this morning whilst I was reading it on the train:

"Not to enjoy God is to dishonor him. To say to Him that something else satisfies you more is the opposite of worship. It is sacrilege" (p.22)

Then piper points to psalm 34:8:

"Taste and see that the lord is good!"

and also psalm 119:103:

"How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth"

I'm starting to agree with piper's (indeed scripture's) sentiment here, in that nothing else can delight us more, and quench our thirst for happiness more than God. Because God is utterly sovereign, none of his purposes can be thwarted. This means that we have a happy God, because he can do anything (imagine being able to do anything and not being happy!). If we have a happy, sovereign God, then who else to delight in than Him who is supremely joyful?

I'm finding this true, not only from the bible, but also through experience. I'm starting to realize again that ultimately the world doesn't satisfy you. It just offers fleeting pleasures. They just fade away, leaving you wondering why they didn't complete you. The truth seems to be that whatever the world offers, it cannot satisfy us enough. It just all misses the mark. John D. Rockafeller once said: “How much money is enough? Just a little more than you have.”. This is one of the truest things outside the bible.

I'm slowly being driven to the fact that God is the only being that can satisfy us totally. That being said however, learning to delight in him more than anything else is proving to be supremely difficult. I'm finding that a lot of my roots, desires and passions are driven deep into earthly things rather than into God. The task, therefore is to 'uproot' myself, and be 're-rooted' in Christ. My hope and prayer is that by grace I will be able to do this, and that it would bring satisfaction in Him, rather than in the world.

A Fresh Start

Hi,

This is my blog. I never thought that I'd ever end up starting one of these, since I used to think that most people aren't really interested in what some random guy on the internet is saying. But I hope to post on here my reflections as I go through the christian life. I've called it 'Might for..endurance', from Colossians 1:11, where Paul prays that God might give the church at the Colosse his might to....do mighty works?....to change the world?....No, to endure and be patient.

Which is what I've been learning this year (a lot) through suffering, heartbreak, stress, frustration, disappointment and sometimes mild despair. If you're reading this, I hope it helps in your walk with Christ. It will almost certainly help me to put my thoughts to 'paper'. So here goes...